My daughter is a 21 y.o. who moved out on two different occasions to live with two different boyfriends, each lasting about a year. In between these relationships, she moves back home to live with me. This last time in light of supporting her decision to go to college, I offered to let her stay here rent free. Well, summer quarter went by, fall quarter, and now winter quarter and she's decided to wait. In the mean time, she has only a part-time job and goes out drinking with her friends whenever she chooses. I take care of the dog. She comes home as late as 3:30 in the morning and sometimes not at all. She will sit around all day in her bathrobe and watch tv on days she doesn't have to work.

I think she's taking advantage of me.

Yesterday, she came home and saw me taking the tree down, and the other decorations, etc. I asked her to help and she got nasty and disrespectful and said forget it and went to her room. She came out later after all the work was done.

Tonight she came in from work and asked if she could check her myspace.com site on my computer and I told her no, that I wasn't feeling particularly generous with her today. She threw a hissy fit, carrying on and on that I don't respect her. I told her that I didn't want to start part 2 of the fight and that I just wanted to rest. She wouldn't let it end. She yelled at me, "so, you want me to move out?" Very angry and defensive. I told her that if I was making her life such hell (her words) that maybe it would be best if she moved out. Then she said with gritted teeth, "when I do move out, you will never hear from me again. You will be a lonely old woman and lose your only daughter just like you've lost your only son." Well, that's news to me, since I spoke to my only son just last night and recently got his girlfriend a job in my hospital.

I told her that I pay for everything, babysit her dog, take her to work and pick her up, bring food to her work so she can eat. She SCREAMED at me -- yes, mom, you just do EVERYTHING for me, very sarcastically.

I'm sorry this is so long. I feel if I don't keep writing I will have a brain hemorrhage.

My girl is spoiled and thinks I and the rest of the world owe her. She was a continual truant during high school and dropped out. Her father kicked her out of his house. I took her by the hand to get her GED completed. She still has no desire to get driver's license. My sister offered to pay her full college tuition for her and yet she says, no, I'm not ready to go yet. I keep her on my medical insurance benefits in case she wants therapy, but she doesn't follow through on that either.

This beautiful, capable daughter of mine is a woman who is not making very good choices for herself and it breaks my heart. The last time she got this mad at me after I went to work, she stole $10K worth of my jewelry and sold it to a pawn shop. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow for what I will find on my return.

I just can't have this kind of daily stress in my life. Not a good mix for me. Do any of you have any suggestions? Love to hear from the parents and the young adults.

I need you all very much. Thank you for reading and responding with your experience and wisdom.
Take care,
Okie