I'm so sorry to hear all you're going through! No, it's not too much info. this is what this particular forum is here for!

I'm not sure if I remember right, but it seems like you said you weren't in counseling right now. I think it might be a good idea to look into that, if you can and want to.

You are not a bad person for wishing this had been happening to someone else and not to you. You were a child going through absolute hell. You're not bad.

Good luck to you in dealing with this. I wish I knew what I could say to help. My fingers are crossed for you

(((((((((((((((troubled1))))))))))))))) <-- only if ok

SC

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown