Hi Simon,

I can identify with most of what you said. I'm quite a freak myself. And IMO it's a positive trait. I was like that since I can remember, never fit anywhere.

I always had trouble making friends - I liked different music, dressed differently, had different interests, liked to spend my free time differently than my peers. I live in my own little world and try not to let too much reality in. I find my hobbies pretty interesting - they can be useful in future and they are good at dulling everything around me. I rather like the person I am. I don't like the way I'm acting sometimes (laziness, irresponsibility, indecisiveness, putting unpleasant or boring chores/homework off until tomorrow and of course my tendency towards depression) but I think it will go away when I finally decide to grow up (except maybe the depression).

I can tell you if I was to choose a friend I'd choose you and not your sister. I don't like shallow people too. Time spent with them is a wasted time. Their lives seem as boring to me as mine seems boring to them. I too couldn't just go and spend all my day getting drunk in a pub with a bunch of people I hardly know - IMO it's not fun.

My family too doesn't like the way I am - we practically don't talk to each other now. And it's really better this way - fewer fights = less stress. I remember when several years ago we went to visit family - I got tired of listening about my aunt's new romance (yet another one) so I excused myself and went outside to play with the dog. After we got back home my mother threw a fit about me being antisocial and hopeless and boring and why I cannot be like my cousin (who was giggling and chattering all the time) and what a shame I am to her and how she's not going to go anywhere with me from now on. So if I visit anyone now (and it happens really rarely, I'm not very fond of my family) I go alone. They finally left me to my own world and I'm glad for it.

But think about it, you are practically adult, in a couple of years you will move away (I suppose) so you won't have to deal with your family on a daily basis. You'll meet new people who are more accepting, who share your interests... and someone who'll love you as well, I'm sure.

I met someone who shares some of my interests last year and accepts the rest - he's more prone to socializing and less pessimistic than I am but I think we understand each other pretty well. I think we may become good friends one day.

As for your question - I don't know. I don't think there's anything you could do. You just have to meet the right people. And you will, I assure you. Just remember, you are the person you are going to spend your whole life with. And if you don't like this person it's going to be a very hard several dozen years for you.

Whew... it was a bit long. Just wanted to let you know that I understand most of what you're going through.

Hugs, you are worth more than all of them together,

sparkling