I didnt really mind having scars. I kept them hidden a lot of the time. The last year or so I havent really made an effort to hide them, and they have been noticed from time to time but most people are smart enough not to mention them.

Lately I have been looking at them and wishing I had my nice smooth beautiful skin back. I have damaged this body and I regret it. These marks will never leave me, they constantly remind me of those terrible times. I hate the reminder.

I have little growths that need to be removed caused by so much cutting, many of my scars hurt and are hard and lumpy. I have some lingering nerve damage in places. They are noticeable in photos and when my skin starts to tan in summer, they stick out like bright white lines showing everyone what I did to myself. So humiliating.

I never thought of the long term consequences, who knows what else will pop up from abusing my body. I wish I had never started.