I had a good week, a better week than I had in a long time. Part of it was that I was so busy getting my schoolwork done and tackling my prehoarding that I didn't have much time to worry about food.

That said, self-awareness is kicking in again. The ED voices are back, telling me that I have to learn to get by on less food and that it's the only way I'll ever be successful.

They're not very strong, at least not yet. Scale of 1-10, 10 being the most intense, the ED voices are at a 3 or a 4. They're suggesting that I cut out a certain amount of calories today, and tomorrow and every day this week -- that I eat just enough to make it for weigh in, but not a crumb more. And I want to listen. I want to learn to stop enjoying food so much and focus on other things so I can have a better life.

I don't want to disappoint anybody, but I am really afraid that if I don't control my greedy appetite, I'll never have a good, successful, meaningful life.