Hi,
friends----well how do you make the distinction?
I have people I know. These people may even know of me and my being nuts. but these people, I still am not sure that they are friends. I had some friends in my life. The one friend I had here in Canada moved back to England. Every-time I had a friend they disappeared, moved state or country. I am wary of friends as it only ever hurts.
I am not a good friend as I won't stay in contact. If I do I remain quiet, they talk and it becomes me being the listening board not able to say how I feel. For me How I feel becomes obsolete compared to the needs of my friend. Who do you trust not to tell the whole town that your a basket case? That's hard. So there is family but we put on a happy coping smile for them.

I am trying, going to choir, to see maybe , there are people I know but they would not react well to me as I am in truth. So I guess, I decide not to be (have) friends. I think it would be too much trouble.

Even here I had one request but pretty sure that one would regret it. Because I have nothing to give and that moment where my ramblings might have made sense just to one individual it was all bollo**ks i am a charlatan.
How would I know the inner workings of with the universe to make everyone's life better? It's bull, what I am and people do not warm or understand me. This is it no surprise. And wrote some more but t'was sh*te