Thanks for your post and your suggestions. I will try everything. I made a conscious decision not to cut again. I have the need to make things to recognize the lies I was told and the truth. I do not deserve to hurt or be hurt. I am good and I am good enough. I am beautiful and worthy of love and affection. I am a loving soul in the universe. My pain is not my shame. It belongs to those who tortured me. More as I can speak about it. Thanks