I think today for the first time I saw that I did survive and the world has carried on and my life hasn't all been trauma...this happened because something triggered me today and I felt alone and afraid and stuck and felt I wanted to die and wanted mankind to be destroyed because yet again I felt I couldn't trust the world and those in it...

I asked myself what this situation was reminding me off?? and in an flash I felt feelings I would have felt when i was a child...a certain trauma that happened to me that I've always been aware off intellectually...but never felt or allowed myself to feel hit me....

The external situation that triggered me lost its impact on me when I realised what my own trauma was ....when I saw that it was my feelings I was projecting into this triggering external event today....

With this I saw that I have survived and though it was horrific what happened to me...the world has carried on and so have I....

I saw how my world has remained stuck in my head...how the groove of fear has been playing and playing in the background keeping me partly stuck in the past...when all the evidence points to me being here now and alive and that my life has had some wonderful moments also..

DOes anyone relate to this?