Hello I hope everything is going better for you at this time. I think you made a very good decision in not cutting, and getting a very positive attitude that you willl stop cutting because you deserve better in your life, for your future. I am going to leave you a hotline number to call if you would like someone to talk to in person when you feel the urges 1-800-DONT-CUT and 1-800-273-TALK for mental health both hotlines are available for 24 hours. you do not have to be alone when you feel the urges you can call someone. Take care sincerely Soidhonia