It does sound like dissociating. You can learn to control it. It helps to have professional support, as there is a reason why this happens. When you dissociate, practice noticing that you have checked out. Then you will know that you need to bring yourself back, which takes some practice but you can do it. To bring yourself back, focus on what is going on around you. Use your senses to get in touch with what you can see, hear, feel, smell, taste, etc. that is real and also safe. You can also start to recognize the triggers that cause you to dissociate. Often there was something that a part of you felt was unsafe, often because it reminded you of something scary or unsafe from your past experiences. Part of healing is learning to recognize when you are safe and reconnect with your life in the present moment, and sometimes to do that, you need to understand why you felt unsafe before.