I've known my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We became quick friends, helping each other with relationships, hanging out all the time, laughing at stupid movies. Three months in he totally surprised me with a kiss which started the most confusing journey I've ever been on. For months we got closer and closer, basically doing the friends with benefits thing but a bit more intense but we still dated other people. About three months ago we started getting serious but have had many bumps along the way, mostly me being unsure of our future and my own. I worry too much. I feel stress and unease ten fold. It doesn't help that I feel lost with my own life, I've been out of college for three years now and I have a couple crappy part time jobs that don't pay much so money is always on my mind. I've been floating around the idea of teaching abroad, that obviously didn't go over well with my boyfriend but it's also very likely that he's moving to LA in December for a job. Today we called it quits and the thought of not having him in my life as more than a friend seems stupid, crazy, and every other word that can convey the wrongness of this important person not being in my life. So what I'm struggling with is how to help myself while being with him because I've been incapable thus far.

I'm not sure if I've explained myself well and I know I can't write in detail about the last year but it would be so greatly appreciated for any advice because I'm so lost.

Thank you.

Kim