I'm very different from all the other members of my family. I dress different, I think different, I'm a non-conformist. When I complained of feeling alone and unaccepted by my family my T said that eventually I will find the 'right' people, people who are my 'type' and are accepting of me. Sure enough, I did eventually find them folks.
Funny, how one of them folks, whose acqaintance I made about a year ago, introduced me this week to one of her friends. It became very clear to me from the get-go that this friend of hers is the judgmental "non-accepting-of-non-conformists" type and therefore I did not pursue the relationship.
However, with family it's different. I don't want to cut off from family. As Harriet Lerner writes in her book, The Dance of Anger, cutoff is a way of managing our anxieties. The way I've learned to deal with family is that I relate to them rather superficially, don't get into much self-disclosure if any, don't get into topics that will ignite ires.... More like, hi, how are you, how are the kids, how's work, what are your vacation plans, can I help you with anything, love you, bye bye.
I have found that finding those folks who are accepting of me is an antidote to the feeling of rejection I feel from my-very-different-and-non-accepting-family.