I believe I am bi polar and I am in the process of being diagnosed and considering treatment options. I experience hypomania and mania more so than the low end, but the low end is bad when it comes. I have spent a lot of time addressing the low end and I have fairly effective techniques for lifting out of it. The hypomania and the mania however I never looked at as a problem until recently. Recently, I've realized how completely and utterly swept away I become by racing thought patterns, byzantine thought construction, and a belief that my intellect is border line magical, casting anyone who disagrees with me as an enemy. This is SO destructive for the people around me, especially my family, and I want to address it. I am considering medication as an option. I am scared of not having the hypomanic lift off, even if it is destructive. It is how I have accomplished everything in my life, in extreme sprints of productivity often lasting into the wee hours of the morning. Will this totally go away if I am medicated? That quality of thought flow, will that just disappear? The street is just the street, a car just a car, instead of a massive interconnected web of information to decipher? That idea scares me.
If anyone has any experience with this, let me know.
MT