I echo the others who have advised you about self-medicating. Last weekend I blew almost 22 years of sobriety---although this time it was pills, because I'm not in the habit of having bottles of Jack Daniel's laying around the house anymore---and I've been kicking my own @$$ for it ever since. It's SO not worth the guilt. All it does is put off your recovery---from substance abuse, bipolar, whatever you've got going.

JMHO, of course.