Hello. I am Sam. I have been diagnosed with ADHD all of my life but never really took it seriously until I was 26. I got it together to manage that, and did, more or less, but there has always been an aspect of my psychic experience which ADHD and the ADHD treatment did not address. That is the extreme racing thoughts, high high highs during which I begin to believe that I have border line super human powers, like the ability to shape the events of the future through my concentration, and very low lows where I am painfully down, lacking in joy over anything, and prone to suicidal thoughts and self destructive behavior like hitting myself in the face repeatedly, which for some reason I have this indescribable compulsion to do when I hit bottom. My symptoms are not as extreme as some bipolar I and II cases, perhaps I am suffering from bipolarIII, which I believe is referred to as 'soft bipolar'. Though less pronounced in that I do not have psychotic episodes, and my depressive episodes tend to last only a few days, the highs I experience can only be described as hypomania, they go on for long long periods of time, and it is totally debilitating in the sense that it is impossible for me to transition into any other life activity other than entertaining the chaotic and complex thought structures that emerge endlessly and that I feel completely unable to control. I am currently seeking treatment and diagnosis, but I am also on here hearing other people's stories and getting advice. If anyone feels similarly, or has an insight, please let me know.
All the best!
MT