I have never felt this way. Everything from my past is coming back. All the bad feelings I had growing up, in school, being a kid..... I can't take this. And how my life has ended up I don't know how much longer I can take this!! I tried forever to forget what happened to me as a kid, forget how I was treated and subsequently destroyed. I tried to rise above it but I never could! There is too much pain... I'm 24 and I'm still a broken person and I HATE IT. I ****ing hate that those people did this to me!!!! They wanted this to happen, they wanted to destroy the little genius girl and they succeeded. I was never suppose to achieve at anything. I'm worthless and I disgust myself but nothing was ever meant to be. I was never suppose to achieve any of my dreams. I'm never going to have anything or be anyone. it just hurts. and it always hurts. i don't think it will ever stop hurting. i just wish the suffering would stop already but everyday it gets worse. I know my life was destroyed before it ever started and i can't escape that reality. No one cared how their actions would affect me as a child. no one cared at all. i still feel like no one cares... I really just wish i were dead.