Hi Moomoocows,

I would HIGHLY recommend getting that book. I totally know what you mean about 'getting carried away with drinking on weekends' as that is such a typical issue of the lack of control one faces while trying to get a grip on drinking. I was the very person that had difficulties controlling my prior drinking, and/or drug use back when I was 'partaking' in those types of activities. Little did I know that I was dooming myself to a death sentence if I didn't change, and honestly, the only reason why I did change, was bc my bf who I have been dating for almost 4 years now convinced me that I had a problem (and he is someone that is former military who had a lot of “bro-y” kind of guy friends.. he voluntarily gave up drinking for me, and we have journey-ed into a world of sobriety together (although he never had any issue giving it up, and did so willingly). Anyway, if you want to know more later, I'd be happy to share it with you. You can msg me if you want to. Going back to your situation.

I understand your reluctance for telling people you want to abstain from drinking, as you, as someone who is trying to do what is best for yourself, may feel highly conflicted because society very much makes non-drinkers out to be “boring”, “loser-ish”, and “no fun”, all the same stuff that I thought when I was a drinker thinking about most non-drinkers. Deep down though, I had so much admiration for my non-drinking friends (the 2 guy friends that I did have out of.. well, LOTS of “drinking” acquaintances) because I knew that those non-drinkers were the loud and crazy ones who “didn't” need alcohol or any crutch to “let loose and be themselves”. That was admirable and even sexy in my eyes. I want you to know that there is help out there for you, and I would again, highly suggest getting the book “Kick the Drink.. Easily” by Jason Vale. You only have one life, and if YOU are the one suffering day in and day out (or every weekend from horrendous hang-overs), I would say that your health and well-being are far greater of importance than what society feels about you and how your peers will think (although, surprisingly, peer/social pressure is probably the #1 deterrent of people quitting drinking.. if not the #2 reason.. the #1 reason is probably for the reasons above.. the notion that non-drinkers are “boring”, “loser-ish”, and “no fun”.
To answer your question.. you simply “can't” get away from it. Alcohol may possibly never go away.. but let me tell you this. Smoking was once seen as “glamorous” and even at one time, thought as “good for your health” (HA!).. As more and more people are giving up smoking, it is seen as a disgusting, and unattractive habit that some people engage in. I believe alcohol will eventually have a similar shift but it may be a little while. I think you need to find people that do not revolve their lives around drinking. I myself had to unfortunately cut ties with people, as hard as it was, because I couldn't mentally disassociate them with drinking. I surprisingly had VERY supportive friends who didn't want to just get shmammered with me and wanted to hang out, however, I couldn't because I couldn't see them as anything BUTdrinkers (I started drinking with these friends from age 15 til about 23.. I am 27 now). I knew 2 of those girls (best friends) for about 8-10 years. It's hard cause they were good people but if you cannot disassociate yourself from activities you once engaged in with people or take yourself out of the environment in which “triggers” you wanting to drink alcohol, YOU MUST remove yourself from that environment, ASAP and do NOT tempt yourself. Eventually when you are stronger it would be recommended to re-enter that type of environment so that you don't feel “completely” like an outsider as a non-drinker (for example, if you can eventually, re-enter a bar but order a soft drink.. but if you are the kind of person who just wants to stay away completely from bars/alcohol environments that is fine as well, that depends on “how much” of an alcoholic you were/are. I would just suggest to re-enter that environment with the intent of NOT drinking because you want to make your life as “seemingly” typical, as again, as a non-drinker, you may be singled out by others. This is subjective and I may have people disagree with me, but that is my take on it. Again, if you are an alcoholic and need to be completely away from alcohol-environments, that may be best for you. It is a case-by-case basis.

If you need to msg me, feel free to as I know how difficult it is to possibly give up drinking. Without alcohol, I feel that I am truly free and not missing out on a dang thing. It took me a long way to get there, but I can tell you, that Jason Vale's book really re-programmed MY mindset as I used to tremendously feel like “I was missing out on drinking”, which is why Jason Vale said that AA doesn't work for a lot of people – bc the AA attendees are brainwashed into thinking that “they will NEVER be free from “alcoholism”, which Vale doesn't even believe in, and that the ONLY reason why non-drinkers who unwillingly give up alcohol feel miserable giving up alcohol is BECAUSE “they feel deprived and that they are missing out in life”. It is ALSO the brainwashing and marketing that is projected onto society, which is SO powerful which is NOT the case. I feel absolutely wonderful and blessed in life right now. I was a person living in your shoes (with the misery, love-hate relationship with alcohol). Hopefully you will see that you are worth way more than what others expect or think of you and I know it is very hard, “easier said than done” to say “don't care what others think” cause that is NOT the world that we live in.. we ALL care about what others think of us and to say that we don't would be a total sham and a lie. Just want you to know that you are not alone and that if you would like some help, I'll try my best and you can msg me Best of luck to you hun!