I am so sorry that you are struggling like this. I can't imagine how difficult it is to feel like there is no-one you can talk to.

If you can I really would suggest you start with your boyfriend. It seems that he really is concerned and interested in your well-being. If he knows about your history he may also be more prepared in managing the disclosure now. From there you can talk to him about the best way to speak to his family if it is something you wish to do. He would know them and how to approach it.

Also, as a Christian I wanted to let you know that God would want to hear from you. God loves you and is there to support you - especially in hard times. It is very easy to distance yourself from your church and those around you when struggling but they are there as a support

I know there is a lot on the line and can understand why you are anxious about reaching out for help but you deserve to get the support and help. You don't need to always be the strong one.

Thinking of you