Thank you all. Will see when I'm seeing my t next saturday and if i go. Will try a little bit more to fight it but don't know if i will succeed. Luckily i found pc so know I'm not alone. Just be there for me and keep me going. I can not do this to my son 4 years old. Cant go inpatient to dramatic for him. Its affecting my sleep and work. Sorry for being so low and complaining just need to talk to someone not face to face