Hi, i am not a survivor but i'm datingsomeone for the last seven years that is a survivor, and maybe some perspective from the other side would be nice.
When i started dating her i had a suspicion that something like that might have happened, so i confronted her. I was prepared for the worst but she lied that day and i believed her. I forgot about it completely and relaxed. Some time later she decided to tell me the truth or at lest part of it. It came as such a shock because i wasn't prepared and i think i made the damage worse.
I love this girl with all my hart so, i had to deal with it.
It's not always easy, i mean your partner have needs, but if he loves you he'll wait for you to come close. Not only will he wait but he'll find a way to make you feel safe aswell...

I know this is very hard for you but if you ever want to experince true love, there can be no secrets...

Good luck.