Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn Bird
. I know only I can make the decision but having lost my mum a few months ago I do feel vunerable and my decision making isn't the best! It is like I know what I should do but continue anyway - always hoping he will change but deep down knowing that it is very unlikely.  |
Sorry to hear about your loss
I was in the midst of divorce, when my mom passed on. My then stbxh, was horrible to me, during that time period. How were you treated, over the loss of your mom, by your h? Was he as supportive as he should have been?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn Bird
I suppose you try to be optimistic and expect them to change or at least want to try and change. I have to get my head around this as being a chronic illness! Every time things are good between us I get my hopes up thinking that this time he as changed and he will stay this way - it is a bit like the calm before the storm and every time I get the storm.  |
Hoping for change, is truly 'wishful thinking.' Even if he has a 'chronic illness', that's no excuse for the abusive behavior towards you. I have been, where you are, in many ways, trying to make rhyme or reason for being vilified, ridiculed, called names, accused of imaginary affairs, and the list goes on. It wasn't all physical abuse, to begin with, and even at that, it was always more emotional abuse than anything else. Trying to take 'emotional abuse' to a courthouse, is like beating your head against a brick wall.
Just remember, if you do choose to leave; don't mention it, ahead of time. Don't talk about wanting a divorce, don't talk about separation. It will only fuel their inner desire to tighten the controls and abuse. Regardless, if he has a personality disorder or not, it's no excuse to treat you less than what you deserve.
Are you familiar, with the 'Cycle of Abuse'?