Hi Monalisasmile,
I'm a bit confused, does your friend have the same T as you? Is the T the same person as the teacher?
I'm sorry you feel hurt, of course it hurts when we desperately want our needs to be met, and it's so painful when we can see someone else getting what we need, but we don't know how to get it for ourselves. Maybe even feel like we don't deserve to get it too. You deserve to be cared about and understood and held.
Quote:
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It's not like me to be jealous so this is a new thing for me and I am ashamed of being jealous when she needs this right now.
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It's okay to be jealous, her needing it right now doesn't mean your reaction isn't okay. It's always okay to feel anything. It's natural to feel jealousy sometimes, but if you have an internal belief that jealousy is unacceptable the jealousy can't come, be experienced, and then move on - you get all tangled up in self-reproach and shame and self-hatred.
Allow yourself to feel the jealousy, cry if you need, write about it or make art about it. The jealousy is sending you important messages about your needs and your unconcious beliefs, and it doesn't make you a bad person.
