I am not bitter about the statistics or anything you said. I just thought I sounded bitter. I am actually glad that for the average person this is not a life long thing. I am just frustrated at myself. I know there are better ways to cope with life but I am not at all sure that I care to find them. The only reason I want to stop doing these things is because of the way they are percieved by the people who are close to me...though I would seriously like life to be wonderful enough that the need for such drastic coping was unnecessary. I am not even sure if life was perfect I would stop. That is something that is hard to admit. Life doesn't suck booty right now so why am I still hurting myself? That actually kinda scares me because it probably indicates some deeper psychological problem that my T and I have not uncovered as of yet. No doubt he already knows what it is and is waiting for the appropriate time to bring it up in session. Ok, I thought that last line in a very bitter tone. I am a wee bit pissed at him. He hurt my feelings. *Carrie sticks out her lower lip in a big pout* He didn't call me when I asked him too and had his secretary call me instead. Sigh. Guess I am just a pain in the *** or something. I try to be good, really I do. If only he knew how many letters I don't send and how many times I listen to his voice mail message then hang up. Ah well. I am whining now. Totally off topic...or maybe not.
Carrie

<font color=green>Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings.--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross