I'm not a professional so I can't diagnose you, but you do sound very depressed. I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist to get an assessment. That would be the only way to get a real diagnosis. Hope you have better days.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha