You must remember that the mania is the most dangerous pole in the bipolar spectrum because this is often the state one is in when self harm enters the picture. I can relate to your concern about the depressive part of bipolar disorder because that is what troubles me the most. I have had to change my medication recently because the one I had been on, Seroquel, was not working any longer. That was about 6 weeks ago and I am just recently returning to normal.

Stay persistent in your search for help and don't take no for an answer, because it is not necessary for you to suffer.