I'm sorry that you are having a depressive episode that would keep you from your goal. I don't know much about you. Like are you seeking help for your depression? Might help to change you outlook if you do see help.
Wishing you the best whatever you decide.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha