Hi! I haven't been on in a while. I'm Hayden, I'm 15, and recently I've been diagnosed with both OCD and claustrophobia. In my therapy session today my dad brought up the fact that I can't stand being touched by people. It had never really bothered me before but my therapist and father think it's anxiety related. I, however, tend not to think so. Four years ago I used to have moderate anxiety problems, the peak of them being the time I barely ate for three weeks straight, but nowadays nothing anxiety-related ever really happens to me too often (i.e. a panic attack every few months).

Today when my therapist was asking me about it, he would scooch in every so often until he got to a point where I was so uncomfortable I laughed and cried for a minute straight until he moved because I almost hit him in the face trying to push him away from me (embarrassing, egh). Now that I'm home, I decided to look this topic up again, as I have before. I've stumbled across multiple things, such as SPD and so on, but my main question I guess is whether or not this is anxiety-related. My therapist had brought up other explanations, but unfortunately I can't remember them clearly because I was still trying to calm down from my laughing/crying fit.

Here's a list of things I feel:

• First off, when somebody gets too close to me, I feel just really uncomfortable. Like the discomfort you would feel if you were in the middle of an awkward silence or in a room full of people you don't know.
• Hugging I'm okay with in certain cases. Usually it's more when I'm initiating the hug more than anything.
• In fact, I'm okay with touching people (as in touching their hair, nose, skin, etc. in purely platonic ones) but I'm almost completely turned away from people touching me. I hate holding hands, I hate hugging (most times), and I most of all can't stand kissing. The sound of lips kissing makes my skin crawl and I just don't find touching others necessary.
• You touch my butt, you will die. I'm sorry this is so curt, but no. Don't do that.
• I don't like being within a two feet of anybody that isn't a close family member or a close friend.
• My claustrophobia makes it difficult to be with crowds sometimes. There's been times I was close to passing out, not to mention how close everybody is.
• I also have a really, really hard time looking people in the eye if I haven't known you for a long time or really well.
• I guess I'll start throwing in stuff that may possibly be SPD related (I'm so sorry if I sound self-diagnosing or anything, I try my best not to be). I'm very ticklish, as in you can tickle literally every part of my body (something I found out the very, very hard way) and because of it I despise being tickled. I will be upset with you if you do.
• I move around a lot. I'm always picking up stuff and spinning it in my hands. I sometimes don't even notice I do it. I also play with my hair all the time and my leg always jiggles. I've gotten in trouble for the latter SO many times. And one last thing: I have a problem with never being able to sit still in my seat. My dad got on to me today because I kept moving in my therapist's chair (e.g. sliding down the seat, jumping back up, bringing my legs to my chest, etc. all within one minute of the last position I was in) and pushing a stool back and forth with my foot.
• Sitting through classes and sermons are not fun. I'm a great student, only I get unfocused very, very fast and if I try sitting still I start falling asleep.
• In addition, the only time I'm ever standing still is in marching band when we're at attention. Otherwise, I'm always swaying. In jazz band, this has proved beneficial; in debate, I was always knocked down points because I was always moving when I talked.
• I can't STAND doing messy things. Gloves are my friends.
• I get very sick after smelling a good number of scents. Candle stores, lotion stores, and perfume departments are my kryptonite.
• I'm usually very very upbeat or very slow and low energy. There's barely an in between moment.
• Groups make me nervous. I hide from house guests and avoid parties as much as possible.
• My mom has told me for years I have very sensitive ears.
• I can never speak at the right volume and I'm had speech problems since I learned how to talk.
• I become waaay too engrossed with things and I run into a lot of stuff. It's rather embarrassing (as in I was trying to walk across the library and somehow I managed to run into a desk and door in that one walk out). I also lose my balance a lot of no apparent reason.
• Singing has always helped me focus. I used to get in trouble in elementary school for humming too loudly a lot.
• If you mess up my schedule, I will get really freaked out.
• I never manage to get stuff done that I want to do ever. Decision-making is also difficult at times.
• I'm very stubborn and really, really controlling (hey, nobody does it right, but that's probably my neurotic perfectionism speaking). I also DESPISE working in groups.
• I'm also really impatient. I get very, very angry over a lot of stuff (I'm frustrated on a continuous basis, not exaggerating) and a bit of a sore loser.
• I have a very hard time make friends and relating to people.
• And last but not least, I have OCD, phobias, and panic attacks.

Sorry that was so long! Thanks for any feedback I get! I was thinking of possibly bringing this up with my therapist next time.