To Lillyleaf I do have those moments when I cant focus on anything and I have moments (mostly at night) when I am incredibly focused and I cant sleep with all these thoughts coming at me...most of the time I tend to sleep in the afternoon when everyone is home so I don't bother them...
To everyone, I tried to talk to a professional but after one visit my parents said it was a strain on their wallets and time...and the last thing im tryna be is a burden or something just messing up everything just because it helps me...
Ultramar: I am not in therapy and if you hear a lot of self loathing in my words its because I hate the fact I don't know who I am...and the only way to know who I am is to see what each individual person wants me to be and be that person just for them for who I am I can never really truly make someone happy I have to be someone else...its not a lie its just how it is.