You need to stop being a caretaker of others, who only use you as a punching bag.

You need to figure out your "own pattern" where you end up with men who mistreat you.

Ditch them both and work on "you" for a while and get both feet firm on the ground for "you" first. You need a partner who appreciates "you" instead of "needs you to be what "they want".

OE