For the last few months, I've felt kind of guilty because even though I cut multiple times a day, I haven't gotten any permanent scars because I guess I just don't cut deep enough.

Well, for the last week or so I haven't been cutting on my legs, just on my wrist and belly. I'm not sure why, I just haven't felt like cutting in that place. So all the cuts have healed and now I can see that I've got much more obvious scars than I realized. I'm not sure if they're permanent or not, since it's only been a week, but even if they're not, it's going to take a long time for them to fade.

I'm really not sure how to feel about this, because on the one hand, I'm kind of proud and satisfied with myself for being able to do that much damage, but on the other hand, it's kind of scary knowing that now, even if I ever stopped cutting, I'll always have the reminder on my body, and I'll probably never be able to wear a swimsuit or miniskirt again.