I sat in silence for the first half an hour. T said , you are not a very good place today Mona? Eh, obviously not.
She asked what was going on for me right now. I said I didn't know because to be honest there is too many things to out into one sentence.
I told her what was going on with my GF and how we split up again and she didn't get it at all.
She said, I have choices (which I know is true) but right now I feel stuck.
I couldn't look her in the eye today which was very unusual. I couldn't even talk. I told her I didn't want to come and she asked if I cared about myself. I said no so she asked why I came today then.
I started to cry till I couldn't cry anymore. I sent her an email last week saying I didn't think I could do this anymore and all she said was I know you can you are still here.
When I told her what my GF had said and why it upset me so much and why all I needed from her was consisitency, T didn't get it and said my past has nothing to do with my present. She told me to stay away from my GF and that I had to stop inviting abusive people into my life and in so many words stop being a vicitm. This is all true but all I needed her to do today was be kind.
At the end she asked what I wanted by coming there today- I couldn't answer her, I told her nothing but secretly I wanted to throw my handbag at her head.