There have been times in therapy when I have felt badly hurt, I have cried and I have wondered if my T is on my side. But my feelings were already hurt before I brought them to therapy, and my T is on my side. I am not on my side. I filter what he says, hear a different tone of voice, take things the wrong way, get upset and hurt when no upset or hurt is intended.

I don't think a good T relationship is necessarily one in which you never feel hurt or upset. That happens in all relationships. The question is why, and what happens next. My T has always been very interested in how I feel and why I'm upset, even if my experience is not congruent with his.