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Originally Posted by Thorn Bird
Underground do you love, do you feel, do you feel remorse, shame, inadequacy ?
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I do love my wife and kids.
I feel but not in a way that's widespread(Limited emotions and understanding for others feelings and their emotions)
Remorse: As far as what? Feeling bad for something I have done? When I do certain things that would not be something "normal" people do I really don't think about it. Unless it's pointed out to me then I will see that I am being questioned which would anger me with people. When my wife does it to me is when I feel it the most. When she points out my ways that aren't right this makes me feel remorseful.
Shame and inadequacy I have felt and this is what interferes with so many things in my mind. I do worry too much on how I am perceived and put way too much effort into making sure it's what I want or need.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn Bird
I love this man and want to support him - I accept the 'cycle of abuse' even though it hurts but I would sol like to get inside his mind to find out his need for 'N' supply and his fierce projection again injury to him self - what is behind the person with NPP - because I can see so much good - it isn't always bad!
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You love him no matter how much pain he causes. Right there you are feeding his N supply. He is allowed to continue these traits and you accept it so expect things to get worse as time goes on. Keep in mind that most can walk away from long term commitments and feel no "remorse". When "N"s become tired of something then it's finished. You should be careful about wanting to see into his mind cause I am pretty sure you wouldn't like what you see. The thought process of "us" are unlike anything else. We do things to see what we can get away with, how far we can take something just to make it right again and the cycles continue. I myself am working towards a way to bypass these type of actions, thoughts and all the other negative traits I bring to the ones close to me. The truth is we have a problem, just like you said that you can see so much good in him. We are not the people that others say we are, we are just broken and this is our way to survive. I completely understand how this is a disorder that goes way out of control because we are the perfect people, the best why would we need help????? Well the fact is we do just as much as anybody else except that most people with this never even realize that something is wrong with them. BTW this is the first time I have responded to a "non" here so consider yourself lucky!!!