Thanks for your reply Gayle. I just have nothing left in the tank so to speak. About to loose everything in my world,house,car,phone,everything and if I loose them I'll loose my son. Everybody says "pull up your bootstraps and move on",but I have lost any will( or anything else) to fight on. I feel like I have to do something drastic to get help or at least get noticed,and help. The farther I dig out of this the farther the fall when it all comes crashing down. The harder I fight it the more I loose. This has been happening for a long time and I just want the madness to end.