I need more love, for myself and the others and the world.

To stop thinking everybody is up to something evil and conspiratory and see a beauty in them. After all, these two aren't contradictory.

I need to let myself be vulnerable more and not act like I am visiting some sketch part of sketch town in sketch country... this is not what this existence should be about. I need to reality check on my paranoia and "everything is dystopic" feeling. I don't need to wrap up myself in emotional shield as if I was going to a freaking war zone.

I will need to be manicky enough but not too manicky when buying things to my new place (I need kitchen appliances and no need to be jewish about it and buy the cheapest. I don't need a huge cat statues, lava lamps, decorative bird cages, globes, starry sky stimulators and vintage trunks. I absolutelly don't need anything in Provance style and need to remember it would look stupid in my tiny and new condo).

And I need to let myself enjoy the shallow things. It doesn't make me a bad person.