Feeling melancholy now, been writing a lot, not arguing with myself as much but talking about my guy from when I was manic in 2006 and how much I miss him. I thought I'd gotten over that two weeks ago but I guess not. This hypomanic episode with its hypersexual note to it reminded me of him, its been a while since I've had one like it. Other than 2010, the rest have been mixed and downs. Not much to miss there.

Got lucky with my therapist, called her Monday at 415 to say I was having manicy behavior, got an appt for Tues at 115, and made an appt for Thurs at 11 for a checkup. Good thing since I've already had a swing. She mentioned we have to respect the illness because it is so serious. I always end up saying 'what's up with me that I do this?' and she always reminds me...its an episode. I didn't do this on purpose. Not sure what I'd do without my therapist.