I called his doctor today. He is going to be furious when he finds out. But I know he wont tell him on Friday that he has been angry and manic. He thinks he is doing beautifully.

I in the mean time am sick to my stomach over what he is going to do next. He is being so mean and full of contempt. I know deep down that this is just the depression talking, but it still stings.

Every time this happens I just want to throw my hands up and say "IM DONE". But I dont want to be done. I think if I had known it was going to be this bad years ago, I would have left him when I was younger. But now, its so complicated.