Quote:
Originally Posted by blur
mona, it is ok that you are feeling jealous. you are allowed to feel your feelings. the jealousy can give you insight into what you need. you can then take steps to get those needs met in healthy ways. 
i have to agree that this therapy with your prof & friend is a dual relationship and sounds pretty questionable in it's practice. dual relationships are not recommended. i had one with my last individual T for a class she taught (artist's way) and it didn't go well. i ended up not going back to her for anything because she acted unprofessionally toward me. (she tried to manipulate me into staying in the class when i needed to drop. she went so far as to say she started the class for me which is just inappropriate and guilt-tripping.) i would have never expected that to happen and i share it to give an example of how convoluted these things can get even when both parties have good intentions. it seems there are just myriad ways things can get messed up when dual relationships happen.
the holding your friend for 1/2 hour? i don't know, i thought those sorts of therapies were tried in the 60s or 70s and found to do more damage in the long run for the client. even if this is a legitimate form of therapy your prof shouldn't be practicing it on her students at her home. she should refer her student to someone else. because there is a huge power differential in the relationship it doesn't really matter whether your friend thought it was ok or not. even if your friend had thought it wasn't ok she may have felt powerless to say no to her professor.
i know you didn't mean to be starting a debate about your prof's therapy approach when you posted. it is good to feel our feelings and i'm sorry you are hurting so. |
Sorry to hear about your dual realtionship with your t Blur
I dont blame you for not seeing her anymore- the guilt trip had to go.
My friend was under the impression that she was meeting with this tutor to get refered to someone else. She has a male t but this tutor wanted her to see a female t for some reason.
I have read some pretty bad things about this holding therapy but my friend assures me it was a lovley calming experience. I don't know, when I mention this to my t I know she will not approve either. I was thinking that maybe we should have all worked with my friend in class. She said she didnt mind talking about it to everyone but for some reason they didn't want that to happen. Maybe she has some sort of attachment problem, who knows?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lost_key
monalisasmile,
First off, feeling jealous is perfectly normal in this situation...I can completely understand why you are feeling this way. However, I am sorry you are in so much pain. As someone mentioned previously, will you be able to discuss your feelings with your T?
I also think it would be healthy for you to pull back from the situation as much as you can...perhaps spend time with some other friends for awhile, maybe some friends who can take your mind off of the situation (easier said then done, I know). Even though your friend is in a bad place right now, sometimes you need to think of yourself first. Hugs to you... |
You know lostkey thank you for this.
I have been feeling a need to pull away from this for a while because it is upsetting me, firstly because what is going on with my friend is very similar to my past story and triggers me and also because of this now, it makes me so angry because I want the hug.
I will talk to my own t about it but she won't be happy about it at all.
Thanks for your advice