I know that. I am just explaining where I am coming from. I *want* be healthy "normal" and able to work a regular job like I used to. But I have struggled with my mental health issues since I was 17 and this past year has been the absolute worst. Its taken me pretty low and I am lucky to be here. Not being able to keep a job and not having insurance really limits your resources for the help I need. My pdoc told me this is a option and she thinks I need the accessibility to more resources. This was a very hard decision for me to make. I don't want the title of "disabled" but I want to be able to afford the help I know I need.