I'm a blob of matter taking up space in this world. Space that could be put to so much better use. I talked to H tonite & see things so much more clearer. I take up space & don't do anything. Hes so tired of worrying about me that it consumes him @ work. I didn't know that. Then he comes home & wonders what I did all day. That must be horrible! He doesn't talk to me anymore bec hes so worried he'll trigger something that he chooses not to speak. I did that to him. Me & me alone. Ive destroyed a pretty happy extroverted guy & turned him into a worrying, sad & frustrated man. My sickness has made him sick.
What damage am I going to cause my children? They don't deserve such a sick mom. I don't deserve my family. I don't want my family! I don't deserve to breath anymore & waste that too