Well my son wanted to tell me that when me and his dad get divorced he wants to live with me even though "I go all Hulk on him". I had to inform him that his dad and I are not getting a divorce, even if we've both been in bad moods. That he knows no one that has got divorced so he does not have to worry about that. That his dad and I have a very strong relationship. I explained to his T that we have had been in a bad mood lately.

My T and I talked about what Miguel thought and she said I seem calmer but I must have not been pleasant. She made sure I was not abusing Miguel these past couple of weeks. I showed her PC but I don't think she'll actually come on. If she does I'm easy to find and she'll learn a lot about me. So I'm not stressed.

She was not impressed with my tattoo thinking that I may have got it to cover up SI marks I may have made this time and compared it to my manic scarifications. I explained why I got what. That brought the conversation to the last time I scared myself and whether it was still there. Which led to a short convo about ED. I learned That I have been with t & pdoc for 2 years and more or less stayed properly on my meds. (Thanks guys for helping me stay on meds.) I talked about how they keep me out of jail and the hospital. We talked about my violent thoughts and whether the boys were safe with me right now and she looked up when I see pdoc and made sure I planned to go. Which they are but I did lie "If you could have one wish today what would it be?" I didn't want to explain my answer so I said "I don't know". We did not talk about what happened with my husband and how violated I felt but that would be me admitting more then I wanted to. I tried to get the courage to tell her H wanted me hospitalized or that I tried to smash the front windshield with my foot while my husband was driving us somewhere a wk and a half ago but I kept my mouth shut. I seriously with I was as a mess in her office as I am in real life.

After I got my blood drawn and answered a 15 min mental/physical health survey with how satisfied I am with them. I took everyone to Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs, picked up a baby shower gift, grabbed food and am home.

All and all a good busy day.