I do understand that.

I'd be more ok with permanent rejection than with my fear, though. My ex-husband left me for good after all of my best efforts raising his son for 6 years. I learned that as traumatic as it was, I survived.

My fear is that he'll give up, and, well, my fear keeps me from leaving him alone in the house when he's having a severe episode. I'm kinda morbid like that