Maybe what you are doing is beating yourself up after hearing your friend's husband tell you that he overcame depression by getting out, making friends, etc. and you aren't doing those things. But just because your friend's husband took some particular action to deal with his depression doesn't necessarily make his course the right one for you.

Through lots of trial and error, I have learned that my life works better when I work at it ... even when it is hard. Another thing I've learned (and still have to repeat the lesson) is that beating myself up never makes me feel better.