I am not a kid (not even close at age 47). And it was not until I turned 47 (maybe it was 46 - I suck at remember time frames) that I was diagnosed with BPD and depression and anxiety and, and, and...

When I read the common issues of BPD (fear of abandonment, difficulty in maintaining a relationship, impulsive/destructive behavior) - I knew that was me.

So now I am about 18 months into "treatment" and nothing is better. I talk to other people online. And if the person is a nice person - I immediately get "feelings" for that person. Like I want to meet her and run away with her and simply start a new life. CRAZY. STUPID.

Yet that feeling is unending, it torments me. I think I simply HATE my life, my brain, my existence.

Anyone else?? Or am I just completely nuts?