I have very low self-esteem. I never feel good about myself, I constantly judge what I say, how I should have said it etc. I have poor boundaries if someone says something I disagree with. Instead of realizing it is just their opinion I am completely defensive. I don't think before I speak, like there is no filter. Then I feel bad for being defensive and then self sabotage myself and go out drinking. Then I come home and have a fight with my husband. Then I beat myself up for all those things literally for days. I need everyone to like me to make me feel good about myself. I constantly need praise. I want people to be proud of me. I always wear the most fashionable clothes because maybe people will like me more, but the same old personality comes out regardless of what I am wearing. I have very painful emotions. I cry constantly. Shame and the low self-esteem is creating major anxiety about being judged, rejected and abandoned. I need to learn how to love myself. I have absolutely no skills to help myself.
Please help me. Thank you.