I know the feeling. We meet someone (either on line or irl) and if we connect we start building these fantasies. I have often thought of running away all by myself. I don't necessarily need someone to go with me. I guess it's okay as long as they are just fantasies. This is the way that I soothe myself sometimes. Therapy is hard and therapy is long. Are you sure that you really aren't ANY better than you were before you started? Can you see No progress at all? If this is truly the case, talk to your T about it. You may need a different kind of therapy. THough I wouldn't expect you to be well in 18 months, I would think that there would be some signs of improvement.