Hello, I am diagnosed with both bipolar and BPD. I would think in your case you have something else going on if you are thinking of suicide all the time. I understand it is comforting to me too for I know if things get real bad I have an another option.

ps. I am so proud of you and your decision to pursue a career in the mental health industry. I wanted to do the same thing but my doctor basically told me it was too much of a responsibility for someone with my mental disorders. I'll tell you if I were in my 20's I wouldn't care what he said and do it anyways and show how WRONG he is.