Gosh. I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I never feel good about myself. I see everyone with a judgmental eye and, of course, the price of that is that I judge myself even harder. I set impossibly high goals that I couldn't possibly achieve, which further reduces the tiny bit of self-esteem I have. I want people to like me too. And I want to be the best at anything I do. I differ from you in that I'm so afraid of people not liking me that I lose (the little) personality that I have. If someone says something that I don't agree with, I'll just agree because I don't have enough courage to stand up for my own thoughts.

Have you seen anyone for your self-esteem issues? Maybe working with a therapist will help, even if it's just a little. I've been in therapy for five years and my self-esteem is still microscopic and I still think very poorly of myself... but I'm not avoiding social situations for fear of being judged as much. And I'm learning to accept my efforts regardless of the outcome. I'm not where I want to be on the self-esteem spectrum yet, but I'm making progress (albeit, slowly).

I agree with wiltedxdaisy's suggestion-- positive affirmations can help and are a good starting point. I make an effort to say some when I can although sometimes, I feel silly standing in front of the mirror and saying nice things about myself. I've also heard of people writing affirmations on their mirrors in dry erase marker or on a post-it in a place they will see it often. Even if you don't believe them at first, keep repeating them until it sinks in and until you believe it. It's important to make the effort though. I haven't given positive affirmations a fair try yet... I'll usually stop after a day or two... maybe that's why my self esteem is still so low.