So, I made my appointment today. Found out I probably don't have major depressive disorder as was previously thought. I don't want to say what I probably do have yet, though, as I'm scared. I figured I'd check in here for that reason. I might check in here every now and then regardless, as my depressive stages are still obviously existent and I've grown attached to this area of the forum.
Today was horrible. I was scared once I heard the word brought up. My medication is too expensive. I may not qualify for assistance for it. I don't know what to do. I went through thoughts of 'self medicating', which I haven't thought about in a long time. Then thoughts of smoking again. Which I, also, haven't done in a long time. I feel horrible. And scared. I just don't know what to do at this point.
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Love is..
a baby smiling at you for the first time
a dog curling up by your side...
and your soulmate kissing your forehead
when he thinks you're sound asleep
OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD
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