I know what you mean Simon. I've spend so much time trying to be liked by my family, and be understood. But I don't think I ever realy have been, and I've lived many wierd places and met a lot of wierd people, and none of them realy accepted me. Even the people who are nice to me still call me wierd, and say they don't get me. But then I have never realy understood them either, so I can't realy expect them to be understanding of my ways. Sometimes you have to be the one to start. If you show them that you are willing to accept their ways, maybe they'll accept yours too.
I've been called arrogant by people many times because I only stuck to my own ways, and didn't want to try theirs. It's important always to be yourself, but it's also important to be open. I know you are because you been very open to me, but I know from myself that it's harder to be open to people who I know to be a certain way.. like my family, or a person I know but never have talked to.
Just before Christams I wrote a christmas card to my sister, It didn't say much.. mostly about the weather, no feelings or anything. I'm scared of my sister and she's nothing like me and calls me wierd and all those things. Today I got a letter back from her, and she said she liked my card and some other normal things. It's the first possitive connection we've had in years, even if it dosn't seem like much. I thought she hated me, but she actually took the time to reply, and even though I thought I didn't like her I was actually happy for it.
Just remember that your family probably haven't shed their masks yet. If they are so much like each other, it's probably because they try to be. It's always easier and most people choose the easy way.